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Glossary of Jargon

Here is a list of common terms we use. Some explain Wall Street jargon. Some are just silly.

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  • The Bond Villain: Elon Musk thinks he is James Bond. But he is most definitely the Villain.

  • Woulda/Coulda/Shoulda: Missed trading opportunities usually involving something obvious (in retrospect, of course). No explanation necessary other than to say busted portfolios are riddled with these.

  • Cash on the sidelines: There is no such thing in its basic form. If one investor raises cash by selling, another investor is using cash in buying. There can be distortions from corporate transactions: issuing stock or buying back stock. And, of course, the reality of cash levels at certain institutions can create the illusion of buyers waiting to pounce. Don't be fooled.

  • The best view of Lubbock is in the rear-view mirror.

  • The VIX or Volatility Index represents the market's expectation for the S&P 500 over the next 30 days. Use the Rule of 16 to interpret the VIX level. Divide the VIX by 16 to get the daily expected move of the market (within one standard deviation which means 68% of the time).

  • Why do we write on Wednesdays? We aim to bridge what happened last week with what is going on this week and with what is around the corner.

  • Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead. James Taranto of the WSJ uses this when journalists report something that is entirely obvious.

  • Fox Butterfield, is that you? Another great Taranto line. It is used when an author confuses cause and effect. It can be interchangeable with the Generalissimo at times.

  • Barometer...it is called a thermometer. Classic line from Seinfeld's Kramer.

  • The NHS, the socialist healthcare system in the UK, does not provide for doctors during childbirth. It only provides midwives that cannot speak English. If you decide to use a medical doctor and the mom dies in childbirth, rest assured, it is free.

  • Big Tech: The S&P technically classifies Amazon as Consumer Discretionary. It also classifies Facebook and Google as Communications. So, Big Tech is a catch-all for tech-related names.

  • Chart Crimes:  There are many variants.  Sometimes it is just ridiculous extrapolation.  Sometimes there are different scales on the left hand side (LHS) and right hand side (RHS) when two series are meant to be overlapping.  Then there is the simple cherry picking of a time frame to fit a narrative.  Beware!

  • FATMAAN:  This is a new an improved acronym for a basket of Big Tech stocks.  Facebook, Apple, Tesla, Microsoft, Amazon, Alphabet (Google), and Netflix.

  • Non-Leading Economic Indicators.  It drives us crazy that people think the LEI provides any insight.  All of the contributing data points might be "leading," but they have also all already been released!

  • The Dow Jones Industrial Average is a moronic index and celebrating its "milestone" price levels is beyond reproach.  The index is a price-weighted.  This means the weighting of the member stocks is based on the nominal price...not the market capitalization or anything else that is not completely arbitrary.  Ignoring this index-crime, the inability of the media to distinguish between an index going from 5,000 to 10,000 (100% rally) and 25,000 to 30,000 (20% rally) is mindboggling.  We need to introduce them to log scales.

  • "Don't Believe the Hype" Chinese or otherwise.  Pardon the contraction in an otherwise semi-formal format.  But we are referencing, obviously, some 1980's pop culture.

  • The Johnny Paycheck theory:  When the virus-fear, federal pandemic unemployment benefits end (Sept 2021), the 8mm unemployed will not be singing "Take this job and shove it!"  Random trivia:  David Allen Coe wrote the famous song.  Both Coe and Paycheck spent time in the same Ohio prison.

  • "Straight Cash Homey" is straight out of the mouth of the indomitable Randy Moss.  It was the perfect answer to the stupid question, "how are you going to pay the fine?" for pretending to moon the Green Bay fans.  It should be a lessen for all overindebted companies.

Meaning of Chalk Creek

Chalk Creek is a small creek starting on the Continental Divide above St. Elmo, Colorado.  It runs east through the valley surrounded...

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